Oh boy have I been procrastinating. The life aboard a space vessel is the kind that promotes interstellar laziness...

See on my native planet the gravity is at least 5 times the Earthly amount, so by mere accident of evolution and inability to actually get equivalent exercise, I'm only slightly stronger than DJ Qualls.

Anyways, what was I saying? Oh yeah, upon closer inspection the crystal seems to be a communication device of some sort. It seems capable of transmitting some kind of visual stream, but it will have to be converted into binary first before we can start decrypting it. This is where the maintenance droids come in. I'm too lazy to do it myself. That's the reason... yeah.

In addition, I'm starting to doubt this was something my parents intended on keeping. The light hurts my eyes. It's so powerful it refracts almost 100% through all matter in direct physical contact with it. Even cameras can't capture it's actual form. I'll keep you guys posted if I get around to completing this mystery or if I need any help.

EXTRATERREZTRIALZ OUT!

I placed the crystal back in the box of old stuff for the time being. I'll bring the whole thing up to the bridge when I have some time to let the bot look at it.

In the meantime, I turned back to my pet project: A prototype ship. Our current space station looks like a garbage pod in space and the new one is a slight upgrade. The beauty of hobby ship building is that you don't have to worry about it being space-legal.

At the center of this awesome beast ship is an experimental weapon and defense system I've been working on. The shield is based on the usage of Tesla Rays (we totally GRIFTED the plans for this) to engulf the perimeter in an impenetrable burning meniscus that doubles as a cloaking field. Since it reflects or vaporizes everything, I call it The Burning Mirror™.

The weapon system is quite a treat. It's all a bit technical but with the right combination of data, I'd say it's the MOTHERLODE of weapons. The theoretical BIG BANG doesn't have anything on this!

Anyways, I doubt I'll ever need to use such a thing. No worries, we'll find out what that crystal is all about soon enough. My ship could use an interstellar communication device if that's what it is. SPACEMANZ OUT!

....continue

>>385
Testing out the weapon for the first time today, I nearly shat my non-existent pants while attempting to vaporize seafood (crab) ejected out the cargo hatch. The result is as follows.

The scary part is this was a crustacean. I'm a little eccentric in that way that I like to visit fancy space cafes and bring back a doggy bag (understatement, they're massive). That cafe is no longer there due to collateral damage... if it survives, it'll ride the pulse to the end of time.

There is now a nebula in Taurus. The impact was so great that the sheer speeding towards faster than light sent the darned thing back in time, so if you think it's always been there, well you're kind of right. It's a happy coincidence that you also happened to name that thing, The Crab Nebula.

SPACETRAVELLERZ OUT!

Okay so I finished the final tweaks on the massive weapon. I firmly believe that with all the right information, this thing can destroy everything from here to the center of the universe!

Also the ship is now maneuverable. Everything is pretty much complete. The only thing is that communication device, which upon discovering the crystal, I am considering tossing the old one. Now that I'm excited about this, I'll bring the darned thing up for zxcv to decode, possibly have him convert it into binary or something a computer can understand.

Also after this term of service I might finally give him "The Password."

THIS WILL BE THE DAY NOBODY SHOULD EVER FORGET.

PRELUCIDZ OUT!

What is your midichlorian count?

Uhh. Is this related to the "omg /san/ is down" thing, or what?

Yeah erm...what happened to sanc?

/San/ went down?

>>397

Does this look like /sanc/ to you? *points to url*

Seeing as I can't get on the rizon right now...what's up with all of this?

shukka ekka chukka rukka ekka thukka hukka okka rukka shukka ekka mukka akka nukka shukka ikka xukka fikka ikka lhukka thukka ekka rukka

>>446
*crack*
prophet to zxcv, prophet to ZXCV, come in.

>>447
fidelis